EVER WONDER....just for laughs

DO YOU EVER WONDER...

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why are they called APARTtments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity by encouraging them to read it!

Light Bulb...just for laughs

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me wha t I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of goodness are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. She said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "..And where do you think you're going?!"

(You're gonna love this....)

She said, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

SENIOR DRIVING ... just for laughs

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Spread the Stupidity...Just for laughs

Only in America…do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.


Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Banks, People, & God

Banks...
We make deposits and withdrawals. In order to get the full potential of what the banks purpose is we have to do both. One day something unexpected happens and you may need to make a withdrawal. Naturally we expect that their will be sufficient funds since we've made numerous deposits. When we can't withdraw, not even a portion of what we've put into this account we're confused. Then we get a message stating that it was an error on the bank. Granted, its very rare that this happens. Never the less, we furious over it!

This is what happens with relationships...
We pour, and pour, and pour so much into it. Then something unexpected happens (such as a disagreement amongst each other, or something may have happened and you just need that person to be there for you) but they don't react or respond in a way that you expect. Many other times before you may have been able to turn to them for encouragement, or maybe they reacted to the situation in a way that you expected. But not this time. And you're furious!

But with God...
All I'm going to say is that when people are like bank's, God is that accessible ATM with no business hours! He's always accessible! And you can rest assured that when you make deposits with you PRAYER, with your PRAISE, with your WORSHIP, with your LOVE, with your ADORATION to him, and with your TRUST in HIM to be your guide in every step you take and every decision you make, you are guaranteed to receive an out pour that's exceedingly, abundantly, and above all you could ever ask or think!!!!
(( Praise Break ))

(In the words of Steve Harvey) Now you can take that to the bank!

Always Swanky
Ms Crys'
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

My Funny Valentine(s)

So…


I had a lovely Valentines Holiday. Everything about it was unexpected. Even the gifts…

This came with an unexpected movie date...

I named him Roscoe... He's MY size...

These were delivered to me at work the following Tuesday

And these were delivered today (friday)

I feel loved! Yay me!

To set things off... AGAIN!

So to set this off let me express how angry I am. I had a BEAUTIFUL blog page set up recently. Make a few bad clicks and POOF!!! It’s gone! I had pictures and posts archived from 2008. So yes, im still a little heated. Anyway, I’m not going to start my blog off with an “About Me”. That can wait until later. Hope you show some love while you’re here and I hope you enjoy what you read…
~Stay Swanky